Review a quote for a book?

Question

Review a quote for a book?
Spoken by a person who is being drawn to someone far away. Epic, romantic, fantasy Imagine Lord of the Rings

Answer

I capsed my thoughts on corrections. Not too bad at all. My only thought is that a lot of people flip back and forth from past tense and talking in the now. I... feel that this would bring forth more of an emotional connection if it was spoken in the now but thats just a small suggestion. GL!brbrLike a trailing shadow, I followed her... Her footsTEPS HAD trembleD OR hER FOOTPRINTS TRAILING ACROSS THE EARTH on the earth guiding me THROUGHOUT the day, and by night, her slight breath a song that whispered my name on the wind.brbrFor an age her presence seemed so far off, but there was nERE a day her heart failed to find me. When my eyes grew heavy and my mind weary, I could see her... Swimming forever, in a dream that drew me into a deep slumber, NEARLY TOO painful to wake from...